how can u be prego again
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
