So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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