oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
