I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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