he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize