New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
