I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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