We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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