That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
