If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
