I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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