I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think people are normalizing furries
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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