if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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