Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
