he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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