i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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