i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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