Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize