i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize