its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
