508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
