my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am spending my child support on dildos
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
