Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize