So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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