bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
