On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
