I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize