I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
