his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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