You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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