i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
