I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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