What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize