so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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