i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
