She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
