His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
