I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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