i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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