I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I booty called her while she was in labor.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
