It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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