yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
