I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
