It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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