is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
