Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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