Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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