i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
