He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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