New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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