If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have aggressive nipples.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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