Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My vagina just clenched in fear
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize