Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The air was thick with penises
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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