He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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