Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
