..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
