i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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