sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
