This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
