i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
