You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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