this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I could make wine with my vomit
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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